For all those who haven’t figured out MTA tch tch tch.. Well this once I am gonna help.But I expect you to start getting a hang of these short forms henceforth. Ok its Malaysia truly Asia. And for those who don’t know why its MTA pls start watching more television.What DO you do in ur spare time?For those who don’t have spare time pls get a life :) Ok ok sorry.. Things seem to be getting a lil out of hand. So quickly changing topic :)

Sooo the flight:) I hate travelling by flight.I am terrified for one.For another take off and landing feels like suicide.Yet another?I have excruciating ear pains when I fly.No not literally.In a plane :P

Aaanyway I just had to be strong and pretend like I was all cool.I managed to do it well as there were headphones and an LCD so I could watch a movie and be distracted.For those who frequent flights none of this is a big deal.But for a TV addict like me any TV anywhere is AWESOME! :)

Malaysia is about 2.5 hours ahead in time.So we lost a night’s sleep as we flew over the longitudes (the only part of geography that I remember :) )

I wish I could sing the promotional Malaysia song that they played before we landed in Kul(cool malaysian way to say Kuala Lumpur :P) Let me try and put a few lyrics down in random order.I’m sure you can improvise from that..

Welcome to Malaysia. where the people are always smiling.. with the sand and beach and nature and green..Wherever you turn you will see the smiles..Oooh its sooo beautiful this awesome Asia which is Malaysia as Malaysia and only Malaysia is truly Asia..The salt water lakes..ooohh..The fresh water lakes.. oohh.. Malaysiaaaa…Truly Assiiaaaaaaa :)

That was sort of what the song meant.I know the tune.Be sure to ask me if you get the chance. So I laughed tons.And repeatedly entertained my parents,sis and bil(in the future referred to as the OTHERS)by singing it for them in case they forget just where we were and what its famous for :)

We landed.Kul is quite hot.A lot like chennai minus the humidity.The roaaaads.. Wowowowow.. Butter.. Just superb.. brilliant.. You feel the foreignness of the place.. Loooads of tamilians there.. More about the place later..The imp stuff about this day was the following :

All cars are Shining clean!On the road and parked ones.Very very clean.. The roads were just awesome..Too awesome.Kissable.The drivers are all almost gay :) As in they kept driving parallely and chit chatting at the signals. And when the ways parted they called on cellphones to bid farewell!!!! They all have weird  mechanical things on the dashboard that have wings that keep flapping! Truly Asia I guess :)

More about Kul laters :) I’ll ask questions about the flight in that one.So read this well !

Of course men and women are different. But men have it easier. And here’s why I think that is.I have figured out the ultimate route to happiness.This is specifically for women and more so for the confused ones.

Have you ever heard of a guy who complains that he has been with one too many women?And why not?’Cus they got into foolosh relationships and had a bunch of fun and then forgot about it. What do women do in the same scenario? They are embarrassed.They wanna pretend to be non bitches by not having been with many guys.Why bother?If you let it go and stop obsessing, so will everyone else.

Ever met a guy who has real problems at work?I mean real.Its cus they leave it behind once they’re out.But women?No no no.. We talk.We bitch.We crib.Man really no one cares that you forgot your eyeliner to work.Really!

Dog fights.Ever?Well there are probably brawls and abuses flyinga round.But once its over its over.You might even catch them having a drink in a week.But we? We dont frogive nor forget.We obsess.We want everyone else to obsess as well.So your best friend is a bitch.Big deal.Move on.Tell her she’s one and if she’s your best friend get back once you have told her.

Well basically what I am trying to say is we have to move on.Stop obsessing.Just let things be.Stop trying to imagine that you are the victim.You’re not.You have had ur share of bitchiness to add to the world.And you know better than any one else how evil we really are. :)

So shut up and start having some fun!

Screw forgiveness.Just let things go.

Aaannnnyhow this time I went to Javed Habib’s salon. I had promised myself never to go there ‘cus I once watched his makeover show on TV.They had ‘picked’ out ‘lucky’ winners to get a makeover by him. Well I watched and watched waiting to see 3 not so great girls transformed into great girls :) Well I was highly disappointed.They looked sooo foolish.They looked like Indian girls trying to look like they were from abroad except everything else but the hair was Indian.It was bad hair cuts + weird hair colours + none of it suited them! Who said a makeover ONLY makes you look better? :P

Buuuut.. my sis went to his latest salon and got a hair cut.And she highly recommended it.So I went there too. I have a good cut now.But here’s what else I noticed/learnt.

1.Almost all salons have a majority of chink population.

2.Men are really ruthless with hair.As in they do not absolutely sympathize with people like me who go for haircuts but don’t really want any hair cut.I lost  LOT of hair. :)

3.Javed Habib’s hair dressers are all uniformly arrogant.And for no real reason I’m sure.

4.I look better with short hair:)

Okie so here goes.The cut costsRs.450 no matter what cut it is.They wash your hair well and give you a good cut.No matter what cut you ask for you’ll end up with what he wants to give you.My sis and I have almost the same cut :) Be strong if you’re really not looking to lose too much hair.’Cus these guys think they are over smart and over hot and they can get away with it by just smiling.I didn’t make too much of a fuss ‘cus it was about time I changed how I look.

I know what hair is to uzzzz gurrllzzz :) So have fun!

Characters are :

Lady with knee problem who wanted to sit down – L1

Lady without knee problem who was sitting down – L2

Lead Role – LR

So here’s what happened:

Trains are really crowded here especially so during the end of office hours.There are people everywhere.So I am in the ladies compartment and there seems to be a lot of loud talking.L2 is the topic.She claims to be extremely religious and does not want to be touched by the non holy people!L1 wants L2 to move a bit so she can sit down.Mind you this is the preliminary sitting i.e on the floor near the entry and exits.Level 2 is on seats after people have gotten off.L2 however refuses.And hence is the topic of discussion.

There should be rules such that people don’t sit down and create a nuisance.Atleast 3 people can stand where one sits.And so on.About 20 mins later all the characters have found place to sit down and the rest are hovering over us and generally participating in the conversation.

Brahmins vs NonBrahmins :

L1 is totally pissed off about how L2 asked her not to touch her.And suddenly L2 had no problem with the other women around her.LR now talks about she is a brahmin and she herself doesn’t do all these righteous things not letting others touch her.The conversation goes into how brahmins who were so much superior themselves have come down to the “regular” level and how some people(read L2) make a big deal out of things being a non brahmin!!And God is definitely watching over everyone and these Certain people (L2 again) will be punished for their sins.Of course we don’t have to worry and fight for justice.

Gen++ :

LR gets into how she has so many responsibilities in life.Most of all taking care of her parents in law.They are a notorious lot.They require way too much attention and expect the world to be at their feet.However some families enroll them into old age homes.There are rules there as well.The older people don’t mind following rules there but when it comes to their own homes and families they take offence at needing to follow rules.Life is unfair that way ad so are the oldies :)

Men are better than women :

Coming from a woman in an all women’s coach.Men allow women to sit if they are in discomfort or trouble.They try and help the women out. In my opinion that is true only if they haven’t already tried to grope you.Thats how bad the regular compartments are.Anyway there was this newly married girl who was convinced that it was better to travel in the general compartment with men as there aren’t many L2s there.Her point of view was being women we understand each other’s problems better and yet do nothing to help our fellow women kind.Women try and pull other women down or atleast try very hard.

Working is a curse for women:

LR got pretty emotional as she realised that she wasn’t genuinely interested in working(as a secretary) but she had to do it anyway ‘cus that was what was demanded by the alliance’s family when they wanted their son to marry her.And she ofcourse had no say in the matter.She wants to stay home and take care of her son.Not feed him with extra candy and give him extra money for  icecream instead of her love and presence.She knows she is spoiling him and yet seems to have no option.She is an earning member of the family but has no say over the finances of the house.Education does not imply by default that she needs to work.Education helps in running a family as well.How she manages accounts and how she saves and runs the household would require education as well.Any educated woman would do a better job at running a household than an uneducated person.In fact it doesn’t even mean that a man should work and a woman shouldn’t.She seemed ok with swapping roles with her husband provided one of them stays at home and the other brings in the money.Its a curse for women to work.People believe you take your bag and wander off to have a jolly time rather than be hardworking like women were ages ago.Hmm.Do you want her to work or not?

She felt that women have two basic responsibilities in life.To satisfy him in the bedroom and when it comes to food.I must say I was deeply saddened at how she demeaned herself.She was a smart middle aged woman and she genuinely feels the way she does.And its sad.She feels a woman who works cannot satisfy her man.And so of course its ok when the man is rude and has no respect.

She said the handbag represents the curse of a working woman.She also feels that women brought it upon themselves.And that there is not one person she knows in her friend’s circle/relatives who is genuinely happy.She has no complaints as such.But she isn’t sure if she is happy.

I don’t know how one topic led to another.But it did.And this is just the gist of it.

I am not sure what I can make out of the entire conversation.But I sure can say thats not how I was brought up.And I’m not even sure how to feel about how she feels.Clearly she represents a section of the society that my section of the society is oblivious to.

I’m not referring to serious offences like when one of the two is having an affair or lying or anything of serious consequence.But I am talking about the “small” things that you have heard every girl talk about which apparently makes all the difference.

So here’s my insight into the whole matter :)

First all the things we hear about in movies and magazines aren’t true. For example if you’re with someone who says that you have been together too long for things to be exciting like they were when you first started off I suggest “Pack your bags and leave” Being in love is reason enough to be excited about the other person no matter what.If I can be excited about meeting you even if its for half an hour and try and look good so can you.Oh and please don’t force him/her to be excited.Just leave.If all the things that were said about you  being super fantastic are true then they wouldn’t mind turning things around I’m sure.

If someone screams at you over the phone,hang up.Talk when things have calmed down. If in person just change the subject or walk away till the other person can behave.

Don’t take offence for something the other person said if you wouldn’t normally had it been said by a friend or relative. for example:Someone says your dress isn’t great today. You’ll brush it aside if it was a colleague or friend.Why then is it a matter of offence when your boyfriend says it?

Get a life.When you go shopping,you would normally buy what you like to wear had you gone with your friends.Please do the same when you go with your guy/girl.Buy what you want to wear.If he/she doesn’t like what you want to wear you can’t help it.Stop trying to get their approval.Drink to get drunk and not just enough so the other person doesn’t have a problem.Have fun.Not limited amounts to keep things steady in your relationship.

If you are in a heated argument with a friend and your friend’s mum asks her for something,you put down the phone saying you will finish discussing it later.Do the same when fighting with your guy/girl.And if the other person hangs up,they will call you back.

Being clingy doesn’t work. Over affection doesn’t work. Respect yourself.Maintain the same attitude that you did years ago when you were out there in the market.The same confidence that you can have anyone you want but you “chose” this person.They should be lucky to have ya :)

Enjoy your life.Stop being dependent.Be in love.Keep the excitement going.Don’t “try” to keep it going. Don’t constantly “try” to talk things out and work things out.Let them be.You chose each other for a reason far more important than missed phone calls and dates. :)

And if you ever feel you’re not having fun and someone is taking you for granted just offer to leave politely.Its your life.You get one chance at it.Its not worth messing it up over one person.Love or no love.

Few of the problems faced by my friends are complexion,height,weight,”compatibility”(which the masters could figure out over a few telephonic converstaions that seemed to go well),education,parents,family background etc etc etc!

The most ridiculous/pathetic one however is whether the girl works or not.My friend and I have been discussing this one for months now.Well she is very smart,very educated and yes she works.Great!But then the families that are approaching do not want her to.And why not? So that she can take care of the boy’s parents.They don’t want a career oriented girl.Why an educated one then?So that in case of any unforeseen circumstances she can stand on her own feet.OHHK!Assuming that she wants to work just to kill time?Well what when she gets babies?She will have enough and more on her platethan she can handle.Why work?We don’t have any necessity for the money she makes.Hmmm she wants it for herself.Why?We are well off.We can afford anything.Hmmm..Will the guy stay home then?’Cus I am career oriented and don’t wish to stay home.How about we reverse roles?Are you insane girl?Do you have no respect..La Di La Da and REJECT!

Well I must say it annoys me infinitely.I am sure there are hundreds of such girls going through the same rubbish everyday.They shouldn’t work and the parents coax and coax so they can get their daughter married off.Or its emotional blackmail about how the daughter doesn’t care and only brings in misery and a few years later there will be no one left to marry her.

God!I’m sure women prefer that to this nonsense.There’s no end to it.Unless some stronger girls step up and revolt and just do as they please.Parents and relatives will get over it when there is a scandal at the neighbours and they have something else to talk about.

The good stuff first.Snakes are weeeeeeeeiiirrrrddd.Well maybe in the reptile world not so much but otherwise they are sooooooo weird!For one they have really small heads and faces and very very large bodies.The big ones that is.The smaller ones are really small and still not cute :( I was always under the impression that anything thats really small is cute!Well snakes are the exception.They sleep a lot.Have beautiful skin and laaarge yawns.I’m not sure thats wat the wide mouth opening was but it sure looked like a yawn and then the snake passed out!There are green,black,yellow,brown and multi coloured ones (sounds like an essay he he).

Anyhooo most of them were asleep and the ones that weren’t kept staring or moving very very slowly that they might as well have slept.When they curl up and sleep they just look like a lump of clay stuck together.

The crocs were cool.I mean not literally.Just a bit cooler.As in some of them had yellow eyes.I was really fascinated at how motionless they can be. Its pretty easy to assume they are dolls and the management is making a fool of us!Well but then they do bat a lid once in a while and open and close their mouths very very slowly.You know you’re watching and still can’t sense any motion :) Its cool! And there were sooo many of them and they all just slept and slept.

Turtles :) Not a fan but they do funny things. They all look up at the crowd like we do at them:) They move faster than the snakes do.Atleast at the park they did.So Hare and Tortoise could have been Hare and Snake!But I’m sure there was enough reason for it to be tortoise.Just saying :P

The Bad Part!! Hmmm.. Well for one people have no idea how to behave.There were still people throwing in stones to “check” if the animals were awake/alive!!How about we lock them in a cage and at midnight have people looking at them fast asleep and then throw stones just to check.Ohh and lets not forget floating Marie biscuit in the croc’s water :(

And the worst part was none of them had enough space to even stretch out !!

Why bother? We don’t wanna see fancy snakes and crocs if you can’t take good care of them

Anyway..I start my workout and I’m sweating as if I wont get another day to work out.And this lady walks in to the gym.(All ladies I refer to are either obese or fat or stout unless I specify that they are the kind I hate which would be skinny :P) And she walks in casually.Gets on the cross trainer and walks once.exactly once and gets a call.She answers the call.Makes another one.Gets another one and she has made plans to meet someone and that person is supposed to give her a missed call.So she gets of the cross trainer and goes,”Pheeeeeeeeeew!!” And I think ,”Hmmm??”

Then she has a gulp of water.Stares at the time.Looks around the gym.Looks at the time again.Then walks seductively around the rowing machine.Almost gets on it but doesn’t :) Swiftly turns around and enters the locker room.Back out in 5 mins.A brisk patrol around the gym.Back into the locker room.Changes, packs and energetically waves to the trainer and she is off!!!!

Either she has the highest metabolic rate of all humans alive or she is soooo lame :) The good part about this id I am gonna let you choose between the two.Right answer wins 5 points :) Well its not so much of a choice then is it.Hmmm :)

My building like any other IT park is mostly concrete and glass.It has some so called artificial waterfalls which are turned off most of the times with some dirty stagnant water.Oh and you aren’t allowed to sit near that water either for “Security Reasons Ma’am!!” I am sure they are protecting me from the diseases that the water may contain and nothing else!

However when I entered the building today I heard birds chirping. I was really really thrilled.I frantically looked around.Is it a new opening to the sky?Is there some promotional activity that allows some nature in?Is someone selling birds?Is someone selling plants and are the birds there to make it all more exciting?What the hell is happening?I’m sure you understand my excitement.I’m not a bird person myself but I love the early morning chirps :)

Well after all that went through my head and the searching,  saw this muscular guy(YUK) take out his cell phone and answer the call!I want to kill him!